How Much is NORMAL in Bed?

We've chatted before about "What is Normal In Bed"?

Lots of sharing --- from nothing, to 500 times a year. Which if you can do quick math, is more than once a day.....on average. Wow...impressive!! ??? (remember the "Arbor Day" story....that's the one of the 'days off.' - love it!!)

The fine folks at Durex came out with there survey again.

Worldwide Average: 103 times a year
United States Average: 85 times a year

Greek Average: 164 times a year (the 'winner')
Japanese Average: 48 times a year....

Now, the trick is to realize these are 'averages' - so there are some at zero. And there are some that must be as much as, if not more than the 500 times a year we heard about.

Nice to see some numbers to gauge against, huh?

Hope your 'number' is where you like it!

Cheers!
Heidi

Happy Spring!

Last weekend we filled up the birdfeeders on our balcony:

We also got a lilac plant - which I hear will soon turn into a bush or something? Anyway - that's the fiance's department. I'm just waiting for the plant to bloom so I can smell some fresh lilac. It's resting next to the herb planter that my brother & sister-in-law gave us as a housewarming gift last year (note the dead herbs):

It is SO awesome to start the day watching birds eat breakfast.

Anyone know what kind of birds these are??

HAPPY SPRING EVERYONE!! Let's hope the snowing is over for at least a couple of months!

Cheers, Lara

She Wins, You Win

Best line in an article I've EVER EVER read:

"I believe there is a special place in hell for women who do not support each other"

Word up SISTA! SNAP!

THIS article by Susan Estrich just said everything I've been thinking, for a long time now.

It is about how women, particularly journalists (her peers) have been disparaging Katie Couric. This I have never never understood.

I was not surprised to get to the bottom and read the bio for Susan:
Former Harvard Law Professor
First Woman President of Harvard Law Review

I don't agree with her politics. I don't even agree with Katie's politics. But GOD I LOVE THESE WOMEN.

Who better to give a 'hand up' or an "atta girl" to another woman than me and you as women??? If we don't, WHO WILL?

BTW - "She Wins, You Win" by Gail Evans- best business book for women EVAH.

How do you get in the mood??

Alright Ladies - admit it.

Sometimes we need a little help getting "in the mood."

Some of us sleep in sweatpants (shame on us! not hot!!). Some of us are so distracted by work and family and busy with LIFE that we forget to want to get busy.

Rosie has admitted that she and Kelli have appointment sex. And comedian Louis CK has a HILARIOUS rant on what happens when his wife realizes that she's going to read about him in the paper if she doesn't help relieve the, uh, tension.

But good lovin' is such an important part of relationships, it can't be good to let the ultimate expression of lurve go by the wayside!

Have you figured out how to get in the mood? Do you recommend 'fakin' it til you make it'? Maybe you start thinking about it in the morning (hmmm..I'm in the shower, I'll shave my legs!). Or you go lingerie shopping. Do you light candles and take a bubble bath? Do you need anything on hand to relax and get into it? Say, birth control or Barry White?

Or better yet - does HE do something to get your engines revving??

ChickChat is working with a new partner, Zestra, a product to help get the party started. But it made me wonder - what do YOU do to get in the mood??

Cheers,
Lara

Yay! Vacation's over!

In case you're wondering what that loud whoop for joy is, the children of the Great State of Massachusetts return to school today.

Now, I adore my future stepchildren (Girls, 9 and 13 years old). I wish we had them all the time - no diss to their mom, I just LOVE these girls!

But right now? I'm sitting in my QUIET apartment. Alone. In the room we call the "Girls' Room" because it's where my office is and where the girls sleep & have their stuff. In fact, the 9-year-old's Care Bear sheets are still warm in the bunk bed that I can touch from my desk.

Don't get me wrong here - we had a wonderful vacation! But trying to work from home with three other people around is really hard. I felt like everything got done to the least of my abilities last week. It was chaos!

As you real, full-time mom's know - that first day back to school is a reason to celebrate. I can only imagine what September is like for you!

Uh-oh. In the time it's taken me to write this, I'm already sad that I won't be seeing the girls tonight. I'll have to wait til Wednesday to see them - only two more days!!

Cheers, Lara

More MILF, Less COUGAR

Well, you know I just HAD to go to the mall. To find out that the bathing suit selection SUCKS.

Well, it doesn't suck if you want to channel your inner COUGAR.

What up with all the 'polished metal' bling on the suits? Or beads? or super plunging fronts, with 'sensible' coverage on the butt??? Everything aged me by another 10 years (which I can't afford at this age!!)

DEAR BATHING SUIT DESIGNERS:

I want MORE MILF

LESS COUGAR

Sincerely,
Heidi

I asked you where YOU find the best suits.

And in the end, the internets was the way to go for me. But I couldn't make up my mind w/out trying them on.

So I ordered one from Victoria Secret

and one from Lands End.

And may the best suit (tankini...) WIN.

Neither has come in yet. I'm very afraid.

Stay tuned.

Cheers! Heidi

Have you ever called in "well" to work?

Last weekend I was supposed to go to Savannah for just under 48 hours for an engagement party.

The weekend went smoothly. Everyone fell in love with my new family, we took a trolley tour of Savannah and we ate fried chicken and had a good ol' time. The weather was perfect! It was all good!

At about hour 40 (on Sunday), we heard that there was bad weather up north, and the airlines claimed that the only way to guarantee that we'd make it home on the same day as our departure was to wait out the storms a couple of days. We rebooked for Tuesday afternoon and hit the road for Charleston.

At this point I had to call Heidi and explain that ChickChat Radio was going to have to go on without me for two days. We've NEVER been down a co-host at the last minute for 2 days in a row. I felt terribly - essentially, instead of calling in "sick" I was calling in "well!"

But on the road to Charleston we rode through Garden's Corner, South Carolina, and came across these:

I LOVE boiled peanuts, and they are only available in the south. They taste a little like edemame...but are an acquired taste!

Charleston was, of course, beautiful:

If you've ever called in "well" to work (instead of "sick"), you know how I felt for the two extra days. A little guilty, but a little thrilled to have a bonus 2 days added to a weekend.

Have you ever called in "well'???

Cheers, Lara

I'm In Love w/ Another Woman

I'm in love with Edyta Sliwinska

She's the professional on Dancing with the Stars paired with ex-Cheers actor, John.

What? You don't know who she is?

I'm alone in my obsession?

She has the boobies, the stomach (or lack thereof), the legs that won't quit, and she seems as NICE as can be.

OH, and girls...she didn't have her first dance lesson until she was 11. So if you think you had to start at age three to make it in anything these days...THINK AGAIN....

Cheers!
Heidi

Missing Co-Host: Day 2

What does a Radio Show Co-Host do when her co-host is stuck in the South after a weekend family event for her engagement?

Um, I dunno. Doing our radio show is so time consuming that very little time is even left for the business of getting stations and selling ads. So my office is a PILE.

Soooo, I brought the vacuum cleaner into the office yesterday. Nope, we do not have someone cleaning our office. And its been far too long since its been vacuumed. I think the carpet is BLUE not BROWN! And I thought it really did match the Cheetah Chaise!!! (boy was I wrong).

I threw out two hefty bags of old paper. And those stacks of books "Divine Divorce" and "Magnificent Menopause" are about to go also. I only hold onto the "How to Trap Him into Doing What You Want, WHEN You Want It" books....you know, the USEFUL ones...

What else do I do? Sit around and track every moment of the Virginia Tech massacre since my brother-in-law went there some years ago, half my high school did also, and I live north of there up against those Blue Ridge Mountains.

I've been taken aback by all the reports in the past months about men killing, burning, dismembering wives and girlfriends.

Then this Virginia Tech killer has to go add a few (30!) other people to his list?

What possibly in their past could make them so freakin crazy????????

When we're despondent over loosing a guy? Us women go get boob jobs. (ok, after a little tiny bit of stalking...) Men maim, kill, burn and dismember? What went wrong here??? I continually ask my husband if he is embarrassed by his species. (I call men a "species" when I'm upset and don't understand them).

I don't get it. I want to get it. I don't know why, but I want to. I wanna sit down with an entire room of FBI profilers and really understand why people feel the need to do this.

I guess I think it will make me feel better. But intellectually, I know it won't. Having my co-host back? THAT will make me feel better!

Cheers!
Heidi

Best Podcast EVAH??????

The peeps of Rockstarmommy BEST BLOG EVER (vote now) nominated us for BEST PODCAST (vote now)

Yes, we have a humble blog....but most of our day goes into this little thang we call "ChickChat Radio." And because there are SOOOOOOOO many men in the radio world who can't fathom what anyone would do with an hour or two of airtime that wasn't sports and politics -- well, MANY of our listeners are via podcast. (if you can't beat 'em? Go AROUND them : )

Geez, we are up against legend podcasts that have made the front pages of USA Today (ahem, Dawn and Drew!!), so of course, we're just flattered to be among the 'fray.'

Do we need your vote? OMG YES WE DO!!

Snickrsnack you RULE! Thanks for the 'nom.'

RockStarMommy, you ARE the hottest blogger.

Cheers! Heidi

ChickChat Radio
Heard on Radio Stations Nationwide, XM Satellite Radio and Worldwide via www.chickchatradio.com and itunes podcast!

What has he done for you lately?

My fiance brought home dinner last night.

He also brought home these:

He's got excellent timing. I've been wound pretty tight lately, and too busy to do things like make dinner. We're heading south this weekend for an engagement party that my Dad is throwing us. By "we" I mean the two of us, his children, his parents, my brother, my parents & step-parents. And a ton of my relatives are coming in from all over the country - one of them said she can't wait to "meet the man that captured your heart."

Does it go without saying that I'm a wreck?? This is like a mini-wedding! Which of his daughters will have a clothing emergency? Did I get the right shoes? Will he finally get the cold that I've had for a week now? Will the storms mess up our travel? Will EVERYONE GET ALONG??

These family weekends are my favorite childhood memories, but what if his quiet northern family hates my loud southern family??

Last night when he walked in the door with flowers and dinner, I almost burst into tears with relief.

Despite the train wreck I've turned into this week, he must still love me enough to do something nice like bring flowers home two days before we go away. This weekend, as I introduce my new family to my "old" family, I'll remember the flowers that are slowly rotting in our apartment.

What has he done for me lately? He's taken care of me in the most basic way (food) and in a way that he knows I'll appreciate (flowers).

What has your guy done for YOU lately?

What Do You 'Hold Onto' in Your Closet?

Like Desperate Housewives said "Every Woman holds onto one item in her closet"....

Lynette kept that "pre-baby" bikini.

Edie kept the wildly expensive pants in hope they'd come back in style.

Ha Ha - ONE item? Geez, where do we START? I've got more "keeping" items than I do "wearing" items!!!

1. The pre-baby bikini - BUT I use it for backyard tanning...so that doesn't count...right???
2. The super frumpy outfit - BUT I use it every other year for Thanksgiving at the in-laws...so that doesn't count...
3. The Tahari blue silk sheath that I never got to wear when I was a size six, BUT I'm SURE I'll get there again....so that doesn't count
4. The last 'Forenza' item I owned, a miniskirt (Forenza? anyone remember that? anyone??), BUT I'm sure it's a collectors item......so that doesn't count...

I could go on and on. Denial, not just a river in Egypt, huh?

What do you "hold onto" in your closet???

Cheers! Heidi

TGIF!!!

Even when you have a job that you love, some weeks Friday can't come soon enough. This is one of those weeks!

I'm glad it's Friday because...

- We get to do an extra hour of ChickChat Radio just for XM, from 4-5 pm ET on Take Five, Channel 155
- I get to spend the entire weekend with my fiance - just the two of us!
- Sure, the Sopranos starts on Sunday night...but so does Entourage!! Yay!!!
- Even though it snowed this week, every day later into April we go is another day closer to spring & summer!
- Since I don't live with small children, I'll get to sleep late!!! Saturday AND Sunday!
- One week from tomorrow, I'll be eating Johnny Harris fried chicken in Savannah Georgia (just like in the picture). My Dad's throwing us an engagement party there and I can't wait! I'm TGIF'ing today for NEXT Friday, how weird is that?

Why are you glad it's Friday?

Cheers, Lara

They Picked a New Maytag Man!

But before you get excited - they stayed with tradition....

New Maytag Man

They could have at least taken a page from the book of Brawny Man or Mr. Clean...both those went "hot."

The Maytag Man has been VERY VERY busy at our house...and at OUR cost. And after hundreds and hundreds of dollars, I still have a moldy washer with a cracked interior 'barrel.'

I am personally very upset. Before Maytag was sold to Whirlpool last year, there were BIG problems. My husband bought the Maytag Neptunes (use very little water). They cost an arm and a leg. and They SUCK. (just google Maytag Neptune suck and you'll get an eyefull)

Just a little friendly advice: beware of the old fashioned "Maytag Man" image -- they have a LOT of work to do.... LOTS.

(oh and not that you care Mr. Maytag Vice President Jeff Davidoff, but beware of the karma boomerang coming around, and YOU have to hand wash poop out of your toddlers clothes BY HAND, after being up all night with your infant breastfeeding, because your Maytag Neptune was broken for the third time...)

I just might not be so upset if I had something a little cuter to look at.....might....

Which product "man" is YOUR favorite??????????? (hopefully sans the sob story!!)

Cheers! Heidi

What do you buy on the Internet?

Remember when the only thing you could buy online was books? Well, sister - times have changed!

I did most of my grocery shopping online when I lived in New York. I buy almost every baby, wedding and birthday gift online. And Hanunkah/Christmas? I think I shopped in one store this year. From banking to lingerie, is there any reason to leave the house anymore??

For most stuff, it's just easier to go online than to head out on a shopping expedition.

Then there's the stuff that you'd just as soon not be seen out in public buying, even though you're an adult, it's legal (in most states), and you're not doing anything wrong! Stuff like this:

(Hint: it's not a lipstick!)

Boudoir Essentials partnered with us over at ChickChat Radio last year, and they're a perfect example of what I'm talking about. Where would you rather shop for grown-up toys, at that creepy shop with the darkened windows & the neon XXX signs, or online in the privacy of your own home??

(BTW They are offering 15% off for anyone who takes their quick survey in the next couple of weeks: Click here to answer a few questions and get the discount.)

Back to the point...it now feels funny to me to be in an actual bookstore. There's hardly ever a line at the bank because so much banking gets done online. The only thing I always buy in person anymore is milk, but that's because I live on top of a grocery store (otherwise I might be trying a local grocery online delivery service!).

What do you shop for online?? Is there anything you would not ever buy online?

Cheers, Lara

Mom My Ride

As a huge fan of the original "Pimp My Ride" -- I just feel compelled to share this as far and as wide as possible.

I had low expectations....I thought, hey, another attempt at a funny YouTube video. But after I finished cleaning up the milk I spit all over my computer...I was convinced....

Who did you see for your first concert?

My first concert was A Flock of Seagulls and The Go-Gos at the old Boston Garden (where the Celtics/Bruins play). My Dad chaperoned, and there were 3-4 of us kids. It was totally awesome!!

Friday night I took my fiance's 13-year-old daughter and one of her girlfriends to see Christina Aguilera at the new Boston Garden. In addition to higher ticket and t-shirt prices, times sure have changed!

Danity Kane (that's the Band that P Diddy "made") and the Pussycat Dolls opened. To paraphrase Chris Rock - these girls were one step away from the pole! Our seats were pretty far away, but thanks to the help of huge projection screens and the kids in our nosebleed section, I got to see every pelvic pivot. Yikes. I've seen tamer moves in adult entertainment movies! I've posted my concern about the Pussycat Dolls before. Now that I've seen their "act," I can describe the problem a little more clearly: These girls are adults, and their target audience should be adults, too. They started as burlesque dancers, right? So why are they shakin' their groove things in front of a stadium of pre-teen girls?? Have you ever seen a 10-year-old do a sexy hip shake n' thrust? Well now I have, and it's horrifying. But I digress.

Going in, I was nervous about protecting the girls from the kind of crowd these acts would draw. I was expecting dirty old men and 20-something hoochie-mamas. Instead, I got to enjoy the music and let their parents handle the barely-there ensembles and sexy lyrics. The "threat" wasn't from the crowd, it was from the stage!!

Somehow I managed to bridge the role of fun concert-goer and responsible adult - the girls actually insisted I dance with them!! And Christina is an amazing performer. She successfully mixed old and new songs, there was a lot of dancing and an entertaining stage show. She changed outfits at least 6 times! This was a fun, girly concert, the only guys there were on dates and they didn't look too happy.

At the end of the night, the girls thanked me for taking them -- the crowds were overwhelming and they actually felt safe with me. I don't think they'd say that it was "totally awesome," but, like, we had an amazing time! Success!!

What was your first concert??

Cheers, Lara