Did You Know It's Bathing Suit Season?

Yup, it is Bathing Suit Season according to my Victoria's Secret email yesterday!

And this year, its as rockin' as ever. Don’t wait until April to get upset about it. Why wait? Start stressing NOW….while there is still “TIME."

Here are some suggestions:

Ever wonder what these strange "one-pieces" are for? ME TOO! No longer, I now know they are for women like me whose stomach has been torn up by large unborn babies. It hides the "puckering" - I'm ALL OVER this:

Wanna THROW OFF THOSE FRUMP CHAINS? You will WIN The War on Frumpiness in this RockStarMommy inspired suit. Was custom made for her:

And really, what better way to say "I'm no F-ing Soccor Mom" than Skull Boob? (jump back - don't touch POISONOUS!)

Yes, and compliment it with a matching "Skull Butt"

Now for a few RULES on a couple of these suits.......

ONLY if it comes with the Boobs:

ONLY if it comes with the "set" - TAN and FLAT STOMACH:

ONLY if you LURVE people looking, um, I mean STARING at your LADY PARTS!!!

ONLY if you plan on spending the entire day with your hands over your head OR having your boobs hang out for all to see -- really, your choice!!

And of course, mmmmm CHEETAH....

Well, off to eat my DE-licious grapefruit. Mmmm -- mmmm! (gag, barf, cough, wheeze....)

Cheers! Heidi

Comments

This blog makes me so horny....I am going to start reading it naked

Doony D - we will enjoy that mental image. : )

Heidi: I hate to spoil it for you, but I am Irish....really not a whole lot going on.

By the way, does size matter to a woman? They all say it doesn't matter (publically) but I'm guess it really does.

Doony Dog - Size TOTALLY matters! Any woman who says otherwise is either lying or they've never had better!

To me girth is more important than length. There is only so much room in there.

Doony Dog - Do men really worry about their size? Do they every think, "Gee I'm to embarassed because I'm small so I won't have sex with her, or let her see me naked"?

Faith:

I'm Irish...so of course I worried. I'm hung like a mosquito.

Nobody wants to see me naked with the lights on....train wreck

Doony Dog - What about experience? Is a man intimidated by a woman with more experience than he may have?

Women should be virgins until they marry. It's in the Bible.

D D - LOL you funny joke man! I would think that you'd want to be with a woman who knows what to do with your one eyed mosquito.

Seriously...it's not to hard to figure out "what to do"....

Friction, friction, orgasm, sleep...

I did not say the above. Come on everyone. It's not fun if someone else says something and uses my name !!

Faith - I think that some men SHOULD worry about size if they don't. I have to say, there is a man (or two) out there that I've not carried on a relationship with after the first time we slept together. And, you are right, girth is very important. But, what most people don't realize is that "size matters" can go both ways: too big or too small.

Is it fair to men to condem them for something they can't control? Size is genetic, right? A really great guy could be small.

I wouldn't say that I am CONDEMING them per se; I just prefer a man with a decent package. And, yes, size is genetic. It's kind of like a guy that prefers a woman for the size of her boobs. OR, a better analogy, a man that prefers a woman with a tighter... ahem... crotchel area. But, like I said before, size goes both ways. My ex-husband was definately TOO big. Sex was always uncomfortable and painful and never enjoyable; but he also had length and not a lot of girth. That's not why I left him, mind you, just one of his many unattractive traits. Besides, most relationships need that sexual intimacy to survive (especially early on) and I recognized that even if I would be happy on the short term, long term I wouldn't be so I wouldn't continue the relationship. I never told a guy, "Hey, I can't date you because your d1ck's too small." It was basically a "You're nice, let's be friends" thing. (cont)

It's like dating someone for more than 6 months if you know that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with them. Why even bother wasting both of your time when there is someone out there waiting for your fabulous self who is perfect for each respective person?

OH, PLEASE. Use your imagination.
There's lots of things you can do to
bring a woman pleasure. Guys with
big parts tend to think that intercourse
is all they need to do to please a woman. Kind of convenient for them,
don't you think? Considering that
most women don't orgasm from intercourse
alone, don't you think that all the
other, playful things you can do before
"the deed" can be mind-blowing to a
woman? It's not the size of the wand,
but the amount of magic in the wand.

Arent we talking about bathing suits.....?

Um... I'm guessing that Joannie has never had a man who has a decent package that's not an asshole.
I'm one of those women who can get off during penetration (woohoo! Lucky me!) and am usually begging for it by the time my husband gets done with that beginning stuff. Actually, it's kind of reached the point now where he just kind of grabs one of my boobs and we're off and running (why waste time when you have a five month old child?).
Now, don't get me wrong, I agree that there are men who are extremely talented that don't have very big... wands. But there is just something about having your body rocked... it's just yummy. And, it doesn't matter how much magic a wand has if you can't feel it!