Is This Art?

I am one of the odd folks who feels art takes talent. If you can't paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel with figures that look at least similar to real people or real things - then nope, not artist.

Modern Art? Not Art.

Picasso? Not an Artist.

Brought to us by the man who dyed icebergs red (pink).....

(ewww- remember why they took away the red m&ms?!!)

And the man who invited people to press "blend" on these poor souls:

He is Marco Evaristti, and his latest project????

Meatballs fried in the oil he removed from his body in a liposuction procedure.

Mmmm Mmmm GOOD!

Canned for your dining pleasure --- only $4,000 a can!!!

He says "You are not a cannibal if you eat art"

Um, nope, not art in my book. BUT, GENIUS PR man, GENIUS business man. He convinces people with lots of money to give him money for his "art." Why didn't I think of that?????

Cheers! Heidi

Why you need to watch the Grammy Awards!

I LOVES me a good award show. But I usually skip the Grammy Awards - I don't know half the bands and so many of them sound like noise and HEY! YOU KIDS! GET OFFA MY LAWN AND TURN YOUR CRAZY ROCK N ROLL MUSIC DOWN!

This year, the greatest rock band of all time (you heard me - OF ALL TIME) is reuniting on February 11 to open the Grammy Award show, perhaps in advance of announcing a reunion tour.

Ladies and Gentlemen, get ready because THE POLICE ARE OPENING THE GRAMMYS!!!

In case they're still trying to decide whether or not to go on tour, here's an open letter to the greatest rock band of all time, ever:

Dear Sting, Stuart and Andy:

I can't wait to see you on the Grammys!

It must be very difficult to decide whether or not to go on tour to celebrate the 30th anniversary of your hit single, "Roxanne." In case you were wondering, I'm fully confidant that you'd sell out any size arena you play (ka-ching!). But I'm writing for selfish reasons.

You last played my hometown (Boston) in 1983. I was a freshman in high school, and I already had all of your albums (Literally - Albums. As in, vinyl. Shut up, I am not OLD!). Some people I knew were going to see your concert at the Boston Garden, but you were playing on a school night and my parents wouldn't let me go. One of the guys who went got me a t-shirt from your show, which I wore until it literally fell apart.

I've had a wonderful, full, fun, exciting life. My ONLY regret is that I never got to see you play live!

PLEASE GO ON TOUR AND MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE!

Love from your #1 fan,
Lara

So, who's your favorite band of all time? And did you miss seeing any groups when you were a kid??

Cheers & rock on, Lara

I'll Bet You Say That to ALL the Girls!

You know who helped make that line famous?

Gracie Allen. Comedienne, star, activist, entrepreneur, daughter, wife, mother... just some of the 'titles' that come to mind when you think of Gracie Allen, an early trailblazer for women in radio and television. One-half of one of the most prominent comedy teams in American history, Gracie still services as a role model for today's women in media and entertainment.

I'll bet you say that to all the girls!Gracie's typical reply to an insult she has mistaken for a compliment. Most often used in their vaudeville routines, early movie shorts, films and radio shows.

She's on my mind because Lara and I helped Judge The Gracie Allen Awards for American Women in Radio and T.V. this past weekend.

And although most entries and winners are for some reason more serious and 'women's issues' -- I think that humor has a way of cutting through the clutter of communication and hitting the soul deeper than perhaps any other way. It is also the best 'coping mechanism' I know of!!

So anyway......I remember distinctly being told some pretty 'dreamy' things by my first boyfriends. And you know what ran through my mind? Yup, "I'll bet you say that to all the girls."

And for the most part, for at least men in their 20's -- they DO say 'that' to all the girls. You can either look at that as sad, or you can laugh - and say "I'll bet you say that to all the girls" out loud. And then believe the compliment, or sentiment for yourself.

Cheers!
Heidi

Another Eye Candy Friday! Yay!

My fiance is out of town this week, so I spent a lot of this week watching TV, trying to empty our DVR of silly shows that I love but he doesn't watch. I wanted to show something for my time & effort, so I've decided to introduce you to the two hottest men on TV, just in case you didn't know them:

Meet Josh Duhamel of Las Vegas:

And Wentworth Miller of Prison Break:

So what do you think ladies - pure hotness, no???

Have a great weekend!

Cheers, Lara

Is There Such a Thing as Mid-Life-Crisis?

I think there are "Quarter-Life-Crisis" - "Mid-Life-Crisis" - and EVERYDAY Crisis!!

Men get the bad rap for buying red sports cars and getting hair plugs. What do women do?

Nothing Says "What I'm Gonna be 40?" like....Dying one's hair PINK...

That's PINK alright....

Most of the women at the hair place stared in amazement.....i heard "I'd never be THAT brave."

Oh ladies -- girls -- chicks --- you could DIE tomorrow!!!! What IS there to be scared of any longer???

RockStarMommy did it long ago (where do you think I was inspired???)

Pink did it...

Gwen did it....

Rachael McAdams done it...

and on, and on, and on ....

But my thought? Find whatever is "your" thang....and find a great excuse, age, crisis whatever ...to "DO IT"

: )
Cheers! Heidi

Can men & women be friends?

I know it seems like an old question - but we don't know what YOU think yet!

This is an ongoing debate on ChickChat Radio - Heidi doesn't think that men and women can be "just friends," and I think they can.

We asked our listeners what they thought, here are the results:

Men and women can be friends:
True / 92.3%
False / 7.7%

I especially believe that every single girl needs a single guy friend to hang out with - I call him the "non romantic life partner." My NRLP and I used to go to the movies, stand in when the other one needed a date or had an extra ticket to a concert, and analyzed each other's online personal ad. He told me when my haircut or outfit wasn't good, and I told him when it was time for a new pair of jeans. Note - we were JUST FRIENDS! No hanky panky!

What do you think? CAN men & women be friends? What's your experience been like?

Cheers, Lara

The BEST Way to Get Your Weekend Started!!

Let's get THIS PARTY STARTED!!!

ChickChat Radio is now also on XM RADIO!

We add an extra hour to our week of fun.

If you have XM Radio, tune every Friday at 4pm in the East, and 1pm in the West.
Take 5 - Channel 155 (right next to the Oprah!!!)

What? You don't have XM Radio? Girlfriend! Boyfriend! Go get you some!!!!

It will be THE best way to get a jump on all the weekend fun....

Cocktails
Chair Dancing
Singing
and all the fun of our regular daily two hour show - with a TWIST!

Cheers!
Heidi & Lara

Is being engaged good for your relationship?

Thanks for all the ideas and tips on wedding-planning, ladies - keep 'em coming!

Now that I've been engaged for a month, there's one question that all my friends, family and co-workers have: "How is the wedding planning coming along?" I finally have come up with an answer to that innocent question - "It's NOT!"

We are hard at work over here, not planning this shin-dig. It's been a month, and so far we have...

- Not picked a wedding month (maybe September 2007?)
- Seen four possible venues but not picked any of them
- Drafted rough guest lists
- Flipped through 2 local bridal magazines while watching TV
- Perused theknot.com
- Picked a weekend in February to go looking for a dress, but have no clue where to look yet

To sum up - PRACTICALLY NOTHING!

The only thing I have faith in at this point is that I WILL marry the guy who gave me the ring.

Turns out it is really stressful to NOT plan a wedding and I'm lucky that he's been by my side every step of the way!

However, I've learned what it means to be part of a couple -- especially the part where one of you talks to your future in-laws when maybe your fiance can't handle another conversation about the unplanned wedding with his or her own parents. We've both done that, and as someone who was single a looooooong time, it's the most intimate, sweet, caring thing anyone's done for me or I've done for anyone else. I think being engaged has been good for our relationship!

We have the added bonus of having my future step-daughters 1/3 of the month. I love those girls more than anything, but even more so now - they're serving as a GREAT procrastination excuse ("We can't look at the reception site on Saturday, we have the girls!" "We'd love to register this weekend, but we have the girls").

So, to answer the question, "How's the wedding planning coming along?" The answer is "Great! I'm totally in love with my fiance, AND we have nothing planned yet!"

Have a great weekend - I'm going to Mobile AL to visit my grandparents and NOT plan the wedding!

Cheers, Lara

Your Name in Russian

Did you ever wonder what your name in Russian is?? Well, we've got the answer for you!

Ignore all the Russian on the site, just type your name in the text box and click on the button to see what your name looks like in Russian....very impressive! (and turning on your sound/volume will help you hear it also)

(Boss Alert - this is not quite 'work friendly' - turn your screen, use your earphones : ) Make sure your boss is not right behind your cube...she'll be jealous!!!)

Your Name in Russian

Cheers! Heidi

Meet the New Girls!

Our sister-bloggers have all the skinny on what went down at the Golden Globes last night - check out the fashion here, winners and gossip here, or - OMG REALLY? - here! And for a great shot of Melania Trump's Golden Globes, click here.

We'll have complete Golden Globe coverage on our show today, from 2:06 - 4 pm ET. Just click here to listen in!

But now I'd like to introduce you to my new roommates, Bailey (she's the fish swimming higher) and Mimi. We've decided they are both girls (that's right, two naked ladies today!):

We only lost Goldie a couple of weeks ago, and it's been tough to get over. But last weekend we decided to take the plunge and get TWO fish, one for each of my soon-to-be stepdaughters.

So far I'm NOT impressed - they're not as flirty and fun as Goldie was! They just don't have the big personality that our little fish had. Maybe they're still getting used to their new home. Maybe they don't "need" us to play with as much since they get to swim around with each other all day. But I can't help quietly thinking to myself, "Those fishes sure don't hold a candle to Goldie."

So I ask you (even you, Dooney Dog): Is it ever as good as the first time? And by "it" I mean "anything!"

Cheers, Lara

New Yoga "Rage"

I think perhaps I'm the only one that can't stand Yoga. BUT, there is hope. There is a new trend in Yoga.

NAKED YOGA!

these folks "enjoy the freedom of practicing yoga, without the restriction of clothing"

Uh, huh.... ok, insert the plethora of "downward dog" jokes here:____________

I first heard about this on a local Washington D.C. T.V. broadcast where the predominantly female broadcasters made endless fun of the one male journalist who didn't fully "immerse" himself in his subject (he kept his clothes on for the entire experience and for the filming). However the 'practice' dates back to at least the '60's (of course).

The MOST SURPRISING THING? it appeared to me that there were many straight men there. GOOD FOR THEM!.

I tried to sign up - they wouldn't let me.....

But this all begs the question --- where is the female naked Yoga???? Well, lets see...

TOP 5 REASONS THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS "FEMALE NAKED YOGA"

5. No underwire!!!
4. Our thighs, Stretchmarks, spare tires etc..
3. No cute outfits!
2. Aunt Flo's visit
1. Hair removal- must be more complete than on a date!!!
(and if you question me, go to the wikipedia page for naked yoga....ahem...

Cheers! Heidi

It's eye candy Friday!

I love almost-naked women as much as the next guy, but I love almost-naked men even more! Thanks Becks, for comin' on over to our country to play!

He has so many looks - something for everyone. I think he is SEX ON A STICK!! Even with his shirt on!

Too much hair? Too much shirt? How about now:

Still too much? How about now?

Are you purring yet?

HEY -- How did that get in here?

What do you think - is he hot or not?

Cheers! Lara

Did You Know It's Bathing Suit Season?

Yup, it is Bathing Suit Season according to my Victoria's Secret email yesterday!

And this year, its as rockin' as ever. Don’t wait until April to get upset about it. Why wait? Start stressing NOW….while there is still “TIME."

Here are some suggestions:

Ever wonder what these strange "one-pieces" are for? ME TOO! No longer, I now know they are for women like me whose stomach has been torn up by large unborn babies. It hides the "puckering" - I'm ALL OVER this:

Wanna THROW OFF THOSE FRUMP CHAINS? You will WIN The War on Frumpiness in this RockStarMommy inspired suit. Was custom made for her:

And really, what better way to say "I'm no F-ing Soccor Mom" than Skull Boob? (jump back - don't touch POISONOUS!)

Yes, and compliment it with a matching "Skull Butt"

Now for a few RULES on a couple of these suits.......

ONLY if it comes with the Boobs:

ONLY if it comes with the "set" - TAN and FLAT STOMACH:

ONLY if you LURVE people looking, um, I mean STARING at your LADY PARTS!!!

ONLY if you plan on spending the entire day with your hands over your head OR having your boobs hang out for all to see -- really, your choice!!

And of course, mmmmm CHEETAH....

Well, off to eat my DE-licious grapefruit. Mmmm -- mmmm! (gag, barf, cough, wheeze....)

Cheers! Heidi

Do you know your BMI??

Spain has banned models with a Body Mass Index (BMI) under 18. If other nations follow, some of these ladies might be out of work pretty soon:

Esther Canadas, BMI reportedly 14:

Kate Moss, BMI 16.1:

Gisele Bundchen, BMI 16:

Naomi Campbell, BMI 16.5:

Do you know your BMI? Here's the formula:

[Weight in pounds divided by height in inches(squared)] times 703 = BMI

or just click here.

According to the Federal guidelines, all those models are underweight. I'm not sure how you can be a model and NOT have an eating disorder, but many models claim to be healthy eaters and just naturally skinny. Whatever.

My own BMI has gone from low "normal" to less than one point away from "overweight" over the last year or two.

To continue Heidi's post from yesterday - THAT'S why I hardly wear lingerie anymore - none of my stuff fits, and these days lingerie shopping is as high on my to-do list as bathing suit shopping and getting a root canal.

I don't want to see 5' 3", 135-pound women like me in lingerie. I can look in the mirror for that! I want something to aspire to! I love that picture of Kate Moss, even though I'll never, ever have such a flat stomach that my bathing suit HANGS over my pelvic bone like that.

If it were up to me, there would be a mix of shapes and sizes, just like the Dove Campaign. A BMI of 16 here, a BMI of 26 here - I like variety!

If it were up to you, what would you do about this model crisis?

Cheers, Lara

Why DO Women Stop Wearing Lingerie??

So many good questions - so little time.

While being enlightened by Dooney Dog as to what men REALLY want on New Year's Eve (and every other night of the year). Dooney Dog also mused:

"I have your next topic for you....why do women stop wearing lingerie a month after they are married?"

I didn't think that much about it. Just chuckled to myself. Then this weekend when I was trying to get rid of some old stuff in my closet and drawers I noticed -- hmmm -- look at that - I have NO lingerie. (at least none from my current husband - just old ex boyfriend stuff that needs to go due to age).

I've been married 8 years. So I then took an 'inventory' of what I do wear to bed. Now I'm no "tee-shirt and ratty sweat pants" girl. But yup - I've got some old, some frumpy, and some just plain UNSEXY nightgowns and pajamas.

I mean what in God's green earth about a Jack Russel Terrier picture on the pj top, and dog bones on the bottom would attract my husband to me???

Old Nightwear etc. I Tossed Out:
Old LLBean nightshirt from me old boyfriend from L.A.'s mother about 10 years ago
Old Express floral nightshirt I bought for myself a good 12 years ago
Old satin sexy barely used bikini underwear I bought just out of college some LONG time ago...(don't even wanna know HOW small those suckers were...)

This year is the year I change the sad situation. Thanks to Dooney Dog (and I'm sure my husband will thank you). I'll be working on rectifying this sad situation.

I know, I know, Girls, I hear ya already....
You: . "Heidi - that shit is ITCHY as HELL!"
Me: "Just Do It"
You: "Heidi - I just look fat in it"
Me: "Better to look sexy fat than frumpy fat!!"
You: "but Heidi - its not comfortable to sleep in!"
Me: "Um, the point is NOT to sleep, Girlfriend!!!"
You: "Heidi, it RIDES UP"
Me: "Hey, that's even sexier!!!"
You: "Can I just sleep naked?"
Me: "Excellent idea- NOW you've got the spirit!!"

Ok, I'm off to Victoria's Secret!!

mmmm, CHEETAH!!!!

Cheers! Heidi

Is it really all about sex??

In light of the chatter on this blog, I went back and re-read this list . It seemed kind of bogus when we talked about it on the air - we decided that you can talk about whether or not to have a TV in the bedroom when you get married all day long but it still doesn't mean that your marriage will work out.

These questions in particular caught my eye:

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

All you cheaters, reformed cheaters, victims of cheating - would that New York Times list of questions (which appeared in the Wedding section by the way) have helped your relationship?? Can it now? Isn't being able to talk with your wife (or husband) about what's happening between you important?

Maybe it's the day-to-day stuff - like who's going to clean the house? Take care of the kids, if you're going to have any? OMG - you DID decide whether or not to have kids before you got married, didn't you!??

Of course, I'm engaged, so I'm pretty interested in this stuff. Giving it up every time your husband asks for it seems a little one-sided to me. And as for the women who wrote that they do whatever they want to keep their men happy, WOW. I feel like a naive prude right about now; it all sounds so 1950s to me...is that really what it takes?

Is a happy marriage ALL about sex??

Cheers, Lara

What IS Unfaithful?

Wow - you all ROCK. There is QUITE a discussion going on over here.

It all started with Lara asking what your New Year's Eve plans were. When Doony Dog suggested that it was so simple - all men wanna do that night (just like all other nights!) is 'get busy' - well things got interesting after that....

And so basically, while trying to get a handle on what is normal in bed --- really, also leads to another issue of who is happy and who is not happy in that 'department.' Please excuse the delicate language, its a habit from Radio and trying to tip toe for all sorts of folks AND the FCC.

(Oh, and btw, I LURVE how many dudes hang out here at iVillage - because - well hey I hang out on the men's sites ALL the time....its FASCINATING!)

But what is unfaithful?

Here is what some folks are sayin:

"being unfaithful with a vibrator is almost as bad as being unfaithful with another man. You need to work on your relationship a bit if you are having to resort to that."

"I'm almost scared to think that sex-wise, it is never going to get any better than this in my marriage. So I'm going places where it IS better than this. I'm not going to settle. Let me add that nobody would ever figure me for a cheater."

"Now all you have to do is go on the Internet"

Is that all cheating? Is it unfaithful? Is it right?

I'm sure its scaring all of us who are in a relationship. If you have ever been cheated on (yup, I have), its tough to read this stuff. Just because someone is unhappy with the current 'situation' they feel they can (need to? have to??) go cheat? Or worse, that they have no choice?

If you were the boring wife, let's say, would you WANT him to come home and tell you the truth about his feelings and the bedroom situation? Do you split up if there are things you don't want to do?

No one can claim our girl Meg is the 'boring wife' - she's the BUSY wife:

"sex is like the stock market. If you invest it in it, you get big dividends. My husband will do practically anything that I ask if I give it to him...."

Whether you are merely 26 like Tim, or you are near 50 like Murray, what goes on in bed (or wherever) is a big part of our lives and relationships --and reading all their issues made me think we need to focus on it. Often.

What do you think?

I think I know what I'M doing tonight.....I'm pretending its New Year's Eve!!!

Cheers! Heidi

What do you have in common with Courtney Love?

I can't help it - I love Courtney Love. She's a little dirty and a little weird and she flashes her insecurities long enough for us all to see them. Sure she's a bit of a train wreck, but she just seems real and honestly edgy to me. And that kid of hers seems to be turning out ok, too.

Here's a fun game - how many of YOUR New Years' Resolutions match Courtney Love's New Years' resolutions?? I don't have any demon voices, but it sure would be nice to get to my goal weight healthily and stay there, too! Me and Courtney, BFF!

* Have a happy satisfied child and family
* sell the pony get a new horse
* try this "thin" anthropoligical experiment — get to my goal weight healthily and stay there
* cahnt for the war in Iraq to cease asap
* chant for Hillary to win
* learn an asian language
* dont peek at tabloids and bad websites, as it absouloutly shatters the Law to make that cause agiants yourself.
* have fantastic sex with commitment and honour with someone whoo treats me as i deserve and dont give my power away
* DO NOT SLLOW MYSELF TO BE A DOORMAT INA RELATIONSHIP EVER EVER AGAIN
* hopefully start another family someday — soon. meet that guy
* know that Kurts spirit is tended to and tend to it daily
* LEARN TO DRIVE
* STOP SMOKING GO TO HYPNI THERAPY AND JUST DAMM WELL STOP
* another year, another year without even wine no matter how hard i try to justify that "wines okay" knw that is the demon voice and put it out of my thoughts
* dont go to nightclubs with 19 year olds
* stay pissed off at the world for song usage
* no more surgery for any reason other than medical until i really need it in my 60s

Any of Courtney's resolutions match up with yours?

Cheers, Lara

What is Normal in Bed?

I used to think I was normal in the frequency department. Until I read this response to What Men Want on New Year's Eve:

"I give my husband access to my body almost every day of the year. I ask for 2 nights off, New Year's Eve and our Arbor Day (don't ask, it's a long story). That means we have sex approximately 500 times a year. I feel like that's enough. I am tired. I just want to watch the ball drop in peace with my 8 children. Its a nice family night. "

I suddenly feel very inadequate! Is this even true? If so, I'm only getting a tiny fraction of what Meg's getting!

What IS normal?

I think it is what works for you and your significant other. I'm not sure Meg's 500-time-a -year situation works for her. If it did - well, that would make it normal for them....even though it makes me feel like Britney Spears wearing underwear -- PRUDE...and I can't even use the excuse I have two kids -- Meg has EIGHT!

Meg- we need some tips on how to fit all that in with 8 kids running around the house. How do you guys do it????

Geez, the grass is ALWAYS greener, huh?

Plus? I am DYING to know the Arbor Day story....

Cheers! Heidi

Goldie, we hardly knew ye....

We knew Goldie could die at any minute - she was a goldfish! But the Saturday night of New Year's Eve weekend? How sad! We didn't even get to enjoy her company for one whole year! If you listen to ChickChat or have been reading this blog for a while, you know that I was unnaturally attached to this goldfish. Some say displaced maternal instinct, but whatever. That fish was awesome!

It's probably best that she died while my fiancé’s daughters were with us, so they could have closure and we didn't have to tell them what had happened.

Goldie passed some time early Saturday evening, while we were in the room with her. Well, we were a little distracted playing Pictionary, but still - she didn't die alone!

When we realized she was gone, my fiancé scooped her lifeless little body out of the tank with a ladle, and we held a toilet-side funeral.

Everyone said a few words. I was pretty upset, but I think the words went something like this:

"I liked feeding you every morning,” said my Fiancé.

"You were cute," said D, the 13-year-old.

"I'll miss you Goldie, you were my favorite fish," said the 9-year-old.

"I'll miss you, too Goldie, you were a great fish and you made us all smile. I hope you're in a better place now, we'll never forget you,” I said as I did the ugly-cry. I wasn't too upset to notice that I was the only one crying.

We recounted all the fun we'd had with her. Goldie went to the beach on vacation with us, to a spa in Connecticut and even to New York City. I remembered the time she almost died a few months ago, and how I somehow nursed her back to health. Since then I had hand-fed her frozen peas every day. And every day we'd return blown kisses and talk to her.

And then, FLUSH. She was gone. Goldie was the best! You will be missed, little sweetheart. Swim on!

Cheers, Lara

PS Attention PETA: We upgraded her home from the bowl in that picture to a full-size tank months and months ago!